not ready..

today, i will have a test.. but, i haven't read all of the whole chapter.. what should i do? for sure, i have to read all of the chapters.. what a question! well, the test is at 8.30pm sharp.. after that, i will have to attend a masec meeting.. what a busy person.. hehe.. but, i still feel nervous at this rate of time.. and, i try to calm myself down.. i say to myself, when all of this finish, i will feel happy and in a big relief.. insya ALLAH.. actually, there is no purpose of my life.. it's means that i live for nothing.. i just follow my fate and the wave of the world.. i feel that i can't go against the wave as others do.. i am helpless.. so, i make up my mind that i will do as i wish.. so, i will not regret when the time for me to go back have come.. so, take it easy, nova.. all will end sooner..

new relationship begins..

well, today my parents will be back soon.. huhu.. mama says that they will checkout in the afternoon and they might arrive in the evening.. hope for the safe journey to all of you, mama, papa and munir.. amin..

yesterday, i managed to call my friend, azroy.. he thought that i like him.. well, actually i feel the same.. but, i still not sure whether i like him seriously or not.. he said that he knew it based on my actions of calling him frequently.. well, i don't know what to say.. coz, to me.. i call him frequently is just to listen to his voice.. and, for sure.. all of this are new to me.. and, i knew his birth date.. it is 23/5/1986.. well, i got it when he gives me time for meeting face-to-face.. what should i do? i unable to make it.. coz, i know my parents will not allow me to do so..

fortunately, he extended the time to 31/12/2009.. thanks a lot.. but, still i'm not sure whether i can make it or not.. coz, my parents will keep an eye to me.. huhu.. and, to shorten it.. we have come up with various ideas and strategies.. all cannot be used coz, the problem is lied on me.. you know.. on me!! hmm.. what can i say, wait and see.. ALLAH know what is good for me and what is bad for me.. so, if it is good for me, HE will allow me to do so, and HE will able to make it to become reality.. am i right?

not only that, i got to know that he clashed with his soulmate due to silly reason.. you know what? well.. the girl mentioned that she frusted with him coz, he did not call her at the night of hari raya.. for me, i think that the girl is just seeking for any reasons to separate.. that's all.. when he make a mistake, then.. it is the right time to shoo him out of her life.. that's my opinion.. don't believe it fully, okay..

i also got to know that he will continue his studies at usm sintok in degree of science humanities.. pjj, of course.. that's good of him.. and, i got to know that he is a smoker.. it is against my life principle.. for sure, i can't bear with a smoker.. what should i do? should i continue this relationship or not? i'm in dilemma.. huhu.. ALLAH, please help me to sort this out.. i'm in difficult situation.. coz, it involves several hearts.. not only me.. but, my parents, siblings, relatives and him.. i can only pray for the best solution to it.. just wait and see.. have to go rite now.. have a nice day..

finally, quack found his destination..

today, i feel a bit sad.. coz, my quack have someone in his heart.. huhu.. well, i have shed my tears last night.. that's really pain.. coz, before this.. my quack was stuck with a girl, and the girl was finally married to her friend.. and, left him behind.. i know he is sad at that time.. but, i still don't show my true feeling to him.. i don't know how to show it.. and, again today..

i see he is happy with a sweet and demure girl.. i know who she is.. she is good in everything.. that's what happen right now.. so, i accept this fate unwillingly as i don't make any move at the first place.. coz, i am a very shy person.. i only pray for him at the deepest of my heart.. just that! so, you know that how i was abandoned rite now.. just because of my shyness.. poor, nova!!

so, i tell myself.. this is the road you have choose nova.. you have to bear with any pain and grief that you will get from your choice.. do you still remember that you have said earlier.. you will get him off if he find his girl.. do you remember, nova? yeah.. that's really make me sad.. i will not show you any feeling towards you, my quack..

quack, i hope you will be happy wherever you are.. i hope you will find what you really want in your life.. may that girl makes you happy.. and, i hope that girl can see who you are and take good care on you.. quack, if you are happy.. i will be happy.. so, promise me that you will be happy until the day ends..

and, i will continue my life as possible as i can.. with all my friends, especially azroy.. huhu.. i still think he is my friend.. not a lover.. and, senior zaidi.. that's my fake brother.. well, in other words.. abang angkat.. huhu.. i hope i can make my heart as a stone forever and ever.. nobody can hurt it.. as i have make it hurt once, at this time when quack finally find a girl that suit him..

p/s: quack, you are my best memory that i will never had with other guys.. coz, you are the first person who introduce to me what i don't know before.. thanks for everything.. and, goodbye..

my feeling..

today, papa have to attend a seminar at sg petani.. so, mama go along with my small sibling, munir.. the cutest kid among us.. huhu.. they might have to stay there for 3 days and 2 nights.. well, i hope everything there and here is okay.. nothing goes wrong, i hope.. amin..

well, actually i want to call my friend, azroy.. he is a year older than me.. and has already in working sector.. keep on good job, dude! well, i want to call him.. but, the phone not working again.. at this rate of time.. huhu.. i feel a bit lonely.. but, i still not understand until today.. do i love him?? this question always strick my mind.. till, i feel it is better for me not to know him at the first place.. huh! i'm not sure my feeling towards him.. this is new to me.. for me, it is quite a shy topic.. should be avoided.. hmm..

but, for sure.. i like to talk to him.. i feel a bit nervous when i am talking with him.. but, i like the feeling.. quite weird, is it? i feel like my time pass more quickly when i talk to him.. his voice so cool, but my sis tell me that his voice is so gruff.. well, i do not think that is the matter.. coz, it can soften my heart.. i always want.. and want.. to listen to his voice.. is this feeling called love? i still deny it.. coz, i do not know what sort of feeling is this.. sometimes it is good, sometimes it is bad..

another thing that make me want to know whether it is.. love or not.. well, he had asked me whether i love him or not.. i answer.. i don't know.. it is new to me.. i don't like to let him down.. and surely, i don't like to play with his heart.. coz, he have been left by a girl who get an evil charm on herself.. well, i think the motive is jealousy.. huhu..

and currently, he is demanding in seeing my pic.. should i give it? well, i have to think and think.. after making some sort of random sampling.. along with a special prayer called istiharah.. i make up my mind to give him a peek of my face.. huhu.. i hope it is okay.. what do you think? it is right to do like this?